When I am touched….back into the heart!
Heartfelt greetings from La Cruz, Mexico, about an hour north of Puerto Vallerta, sitting on the beautiful Bay, at Villa Ananda, where I feel myself, again. Â If you have followed me along, you might remember we last left off when I returned from a month in India, coming home I felt overwhelmed by the western ways. Not like just a month can make you forget, but it did. And I came home and tried to hold on to that beautiful feeling of being held in the mother’s arms, but the feeling left me and I left myself and I could feel myself detaching from all that was important to me. I went off into some kind of weird place/space in my head, not a good place to be, not for me. Coming home returned me to so many things and ways that now felt so foreign and I just was lost.
I found a part of me in India that I never knew, and I came home, and with several life “shattering” or rather heart shattering experiences, well, I got lost again. But the good news, as Donna would say, is that I did KNOW that I could get to a good place in and with me again, but it took some work.
I found myself returning to Summer Solstice in NM and this time with my daughter. I committed to stay steady, not take on her or anyone else’s “stuff” and yet I found such grace, such love, such unbelievable support from my dear friends, who wrapped us in a “nest of love” and healed so many wounds.
I felt so incredibly grateful for that, for them, for the space, and for what gathering together can do for us, nothing heals like LOVE.
Still, there was a slight disconnect inside of me, my body and mind were just off on their own and my little soul was not with my big Soul! I found chocolate, complaining and negativity to be my new companions. What? Who was this gal? Â This is not me!
I meditated, I prayed and I wrote, ’cause that is what helps me. But, I was just too much in my head.
I needed to FEEL!!!!! in my body, on my heart, in my soul.
So, by the grace of the divine and an email about three years ago from Villa Ananda, I remembered this place and decided to head here, and brought my daughter yet again, lucky duck! Â I could go into every sacred ayurvedic treatment, the exquisite and fresh food, the morning yoga and meditations by the ocean, but what I want to share is this…the touch.
I realized with each hand on my body, with each loving stroke, each exhale, each drop or vat of oil that was lovingly poured over me, that I began to feel again. Â The gift of TOUCH, that right kind of loving touch that comes from an open heart, and flows right into mine, that was what I needed. Â I got out of my head, and into my heart, spirit and body again.
Touch, one of our five senses, and maybe one of the most overlooked, was being overlooked by me! So, today, TOUCH someone, hug them (really hug them, not one of those air hugs!:) touch their arm, hold their hand, stroke their hair, their cheek, their back, but reach out, and touch someone. (okay, we still have to remember not to freak some out!) But just do it! I know I will be doing more of it!
Thanks for reading, write back, and if you can go get some touch therapy of any type that works for you, I highly encourage you too. It is a little difficult to feel God, if we cannot even feel ourselves, so feel your heart, because when I feel my heart, I am with God!
With huge hugs to you all,
Denise Kirpal Kaur