What is Blocking your Light?
Here in Santa Cruz, we embarked on our first Divine Light Yoga 200 HR Teacher training course with Divinitree Yoga Studio last weekend. Ann Averbach, the studio co-owner and Hannah Muse, fellow teacher are sharing the stage as we journey forth for the next 7 months with our 33 very aware and devoted yogis. Each group of enthusiastic teacher trainees brings a life of its own, and this group, the largest one I have been privileged to teach, has shown me already something very powerful and new.
As we began with the Yamas and Niyamas, I was captivated with the already clear understanding that these yogis possessed. There is clearly an openness, a vulnerability and a sincerity that usually takes many months to express in a group, already present here. Is this just another California “thing” or is there something more to this I wondered? The way the group held space for each other to share personal views, fears, hopes and ideas was solid and gentle at the same time. Watching the playful, yet serious way each asana was taught to a new partner showed me a real depth of personal practice, of integration of that practice and a consistency in listening.
I began to see that within just a few hours of being together, the group energy was amping up to one of unprecedented support, devotion and curiosity. Ann, Hannah and I would chant Om to bring attention and quiet back after group work, and immediately things would refocus. I felt a bonding with these two teachers that grew with each hour we taught together. I noticed how each of us brought our unique platform to the classroom, which is what created such truth in our teaching. There was great respect and humility between us as we worked together seamlessly.
On the third day of the training, still the first weekend, we recognized an opportunity to hold these teachers in training to a new standard and Ann asked them to each take a concept from the weekend, and to bring it to conception. As we sat in our large circle, each yogi rose to the challenge and excelled with their own teaching voice. This is something that indeed takes months to cultivate, to integrate and we witnessed this on our third day.
At the end of Sunday, we closed our circle and began to clean up and hug goodbye, there was not a rush for the door, instead there was a lingering of love, offerings of help to clean up and most of all, there was such gratitude. Gratitude from each student to us the teachers, gratitude from us to them, gratitude for the space we were occupying, gratitude for these sacred teachings, and gratitude for the gift of Breath. As I received hug after hug, and gazed into the eyes of each student, I felt so overwhelmed that it was almost hard to accept the love. This is where I realized there was something going on with me.
The next day, I was not exhausted from a three day weekend of teaching, I was exhilarated. I was still feeling very emotional and there was a funny feeling in my heart. I spoke to one of my spiritual teachers and she asked me if I understood that what we had experienced was a reflection of the light that we emanate, and thus, each of us were reflecting that back to each other. Why did I feel a bit of disconnect? It then became clear, that that little ego part of me that may not want to believe that “I am that”, Twat Twam Assam”, was acting up. There was still a bit of my old protective shield up, wow, there it was! As soon as I melted into my true Heart and felt that warmth, I did realize that I am that, again.
We meet people everyday, and when someone looks right into our eyes and sees the light of our Soul, and we deny that in any way, we are not allowing ourselves to see not only our Light, but theirs too. It was hard for me to see the light because I was blinded by it by so many. When I got out of my own way, it was shining so brightly, I could not miss it. To deny our own Light is to deny the Divine in each other. It is not an ego trip to see that light in ourselves, it is the truth of who we are and it is our ego that blocks us from seeing that. We may believe that our ego will inflate us with grand ideas about who we are, but truthfully, the ego will limit you, hold you down and stop you from seeing who you are. Because, you are pure Light, you just have to get out of the way for it to shine.